Dear Esther,
I confess, I’m a bit of a clotheshorse, but my conservative mennonite faith makes accessorizing a bit of a challenge. There’s just not a lot you can do with that tired old “white-on-black” number. I’ve tried loosening my bonnet to let those frills hang down in that stylish way, but pastor Swartzendruber told me that I would burn in hell forever, so that’s not really an option. Can I be chaste but also stylish?
-Passe in Lancaster
Passe,
First of all, there’s so much accessorizing you can do with white and black. Try mixing it up, like a black bonnet with a white apron or vice versa. Second, frills are not stylish. It’s a trend, so don’t conform. Keep your bonnet strings tied tightly and the conflict with pastor Swartzendruber should resolve itself.
Stay modest, Esther
Dear Esther,
My foolish brother keeps claiming he’s the humblest person in our family. Quite frankly, I’m much humbler than he is. In fact, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone in the world humbler than me. No one shrugs off compliments better than I do. The way I just flash an abashed smile with a subtle but effective shrug of the shoulders; I tell you it’s a thing of beauty. I’m so humble I even amaze myself some days. How can I show my poor, misinformed brother the error of his ways?
-Frustrated in Kidron
Frustrated,
Your technique sounds incredible. Perhaps your brother’s view is clouded lately. I would advise maybe holding a class offering up some tips to brush off compliments and such. The abashed smile will come in handy later in his life anyways, perhaps if his girlfriend shows too much ankle.
Stay modest, Esther
Dear Esther,
I’m writing with a response to your recent writer “tasteless in Indiana” wondering how to make her chocolate cake less dry. I’ve found you really can’t go wrong with a bit of lard. In my whole life I’ve never met a dish that couldn’t be improved with a nice scoop of hog fat. This helps give my desserts some much-needed substance. After all, when my children come in after working fifteen hours in the beet fields, the last thing I want to give them is a sugar crash! Hope this helps!
-Full in Pennsylvania
Full,
Thank you so much for your helpful advice. Have you considered submitting the tip to the next cookbook being published?
Stay modest, Esther