Now that our senior class of 2015 is only a few days away from commencement, soon many of us may be in far off places working, studying, volunteering, or just having fun. After spending 4+ years with most of this class, I feel that I have a pretty accurate guess at what my classmates will be doing in their future. Here are my predictions (with some help from a few friends):
Jesse Amstutz: Marries Jiwoo Wi (’17), becomes a decent person.
Neel Baghat: Falafel and curry vendor in the slums of New Dehli.
Erin Bontrager: Never leaves a three mile radius of Goshen Indiana.
Mallory Bontreger: First grade teacher that has difficulty punishing her students.
Isaac Brenneman: Accountant that eventually goes insane from boring life.
Sol Brenneman: CEO of successful company, gives it up for girl that keeps breaking up with him.
Hee Won Cho: High fashion designer, no one buys his clothes, clothes get donated to the impoverished in North Korea.
Tristan Clark: Farmer in Elkhart county, everybody loves him.
Olivia Copsey: Becomes Chef, but has difficulty keeping food supplies on hand.
Ryan Duckworth: Professional announcer and orator at sporting events, amazes people with smooth reading and public speaking voice.
Carole Evans: Marries a Chinese cowboy.
Jordan Haarer: NSA agent, monitoring other people’s internet habits.
Jordan Helmuth: Owner of Tiki Tan.
Noah Hochstetler: Does chores for Jerry and Linda for remainder of his life.
Austin Hooley: Wins Nobel Peace Prize, but does not accept because he has higher ambitions.
Annie Hu: Has to do an oral presentation for a final exam, learns to love public speaking and becomes a newscaster.
Hajin Kim: Starts a guitar repair shop because he shreds too hard on the guitar.
Nahshon Lora: Civil rights activist.
Marisa Marquez: Owns a chain of day care centers.
Ethan Miller: Disappears for fifty years, reappears as tibetan monk.
Hans Miller: Retires at 34 because he’s done all his work already.
Vashti Neff: Owns a Kennel and petitions to allow humans to marry dogs.
Nate Nussbaum: Becomes professional Jerk, kicks people for a living.
Kati Quiggle: Takes a nap and sleeps through her whole life.
Roberto Ramos: Teaches struggling teenagers how to correctly grow a mustache
Cheyenne Riegsecker: Becomes first popular DJ to grow up in Elkhart County, Indiana
Cristian Romero: Wins Miss Bum Bum Competition in Brazil. (Butt competition)
Jacob Rudy-Froese: Prime Minister of Canada, no one takes him seriously because he’s Jacob and because it’s Canada.
Carolyn Saylor: Humanity forgets who Mother Teresa was and can only remember Mother Carolyn.
Young Kwang Sun: Internationally known, contemporary singer-songwriter. Makes popular music actually good.
Logan Swartzendruber: Teaches Chemistry at BCHS.
Landon Weldy: Becomes Batman’s lawyer.
Danielle Welty: Becomes tattoo artist and herbalist.
Lena Yeakey: Marries someone who becomes president, but really she runs the country.
Trent Yoder: Becomes a real life James Bond.
Zac Zmudzinski: Sells weapons on late night infomercials.
~Jesse Amstutz