Senior Predictions 2016

The end of the year seems to be approaching rapidly. The 33 human beings of the Class of 2016 have been together for 7 years. Knowing each other fairly well I, (with help of others) have created the following predictions that may or may not be entirely accurate.

 

Ian Bomberger: Becomes a professional Femi impersonator.

Nathanael Eby: Hitchhikes across Europe selling hobo jackets to millions.

Jack Erlacher: Creates a new Halo game with Evan as the main character

Martin Gerig: Fails at becoming a professional soccer player but find his true love for crocheting.  

Mia Graber Miller: Starts own business as sky-diving photographer.

Tyler Huffman: Hacks Hillary Clinton’s twitter account and posts wholesome quotes.

Luke Hanna: Opens a franchise of artisan rug stores called “The RugThug”

Make your first purchase here: The Thug Rug Artisan Rug Shop

Abbi Hawkins: Coaches equestrian champions worldwide

Jingjing He: Launches a Chinese fashion blog and becomes an internet success

Tingting He: Turns into an international pop star.

Zoe: Designs the next oval office

David Kauffman: Develops the best concussion band, but forgets how he created it

Yejin Kim: Eventually learns 6 languages

Paul Krabil: Goes around singing opera in NYC and gets a job on broadway

Hyein Kwon: Forever contemplates the wrong answers she got on Calculus and Physics homework

Ethan Lapp: Travels the world, but takes time off after hitting his head on the moon

Elijah Lora: Forms a new craze NSYNC 2.0: a one man band

Darienne Maust: Joins a community of nuns and takes a vow of silence

Joel Miller: Escapes into the wilderness and becomes one with nature

Ryan Oostland: Starts his own tech company then slowly turns into a con artist

Christian Ramirez: Lives off free samples for the rest of his life

Alex Reinhardt: Becomes most honest man on earth in order to keep his nose from growing longer

Noah Richer: Travels across America entering in food, eating contests.

Lindsey Riddle: Sleeps through commencement and the rest of her life.

Isabel Rondo: Gives seminars nationally on proper note taking

Gianella Salas: Goes back to Peru after college and raises guinea pigs for a living

Nick Schrock: Becomes first doctor/lawyer in space.

Matthew Smucker: Grows a beard, moves to Paraguay and becomes the most Hispanic in the class

Kyle Snyder: Never leaves his parents basement after college

Alicia Thomas: Has a sudden growth spurt and reaches 6ft

Mason Tollar: Teaches 1st grade, but has a hard time relating to the kids.

Jane Wang: Youngest anime artist to win an oscar

~Gi Salas