The end of the year seems to be approaching rapidly. The 33 human beings of the Class of 2016 have been together for 7 years. Knowing each other fairly well I, (with help of others) have created the following predictions that may or may not be entirely accurate.
Ian Bomberger: Becomes a professional Femi impersonator.
Nathanael Eby: Hitchhikes across Europe selling hobo jackets to millions.
Jack Erlacher: Creates a new Halo game with Evan as the main character
Martin Gerig: Fails at becoming a professional soccer player but find his true love for crocheting.
Mia Graber Miller: Starts own business as sky-diving photographer.
Tyler Huffman: Hacks Hillary Clinton’s twitter account and posts wholesome quotes.
Luke Hanna: Opens a franchise of artisan rug stores called “The RugThug”
Make your first purchase here: The Thug Rug Artisan Rug Shop
Abbi Hawkins: Coaches equestrian champions worldwide
Jingjing He: Launches a Chinese fashion blog and becomes an internet success
Tingting He: Turns into an international pop star.
Zoe: Designs the next oval office
David Kauffman: Develops the best concussion band, but forgets how he created it
Yejin Kim: Eventually learns 6 languages
Paul Krabil: Goes around singing opera in NYC and gets a job on broadway
Hyein Kwon: Forever contemplates the wrong answers she got on Calculus and Physics homework
Ethan Lapp: Travels the world, but takes time off after hitting his head on the moon
Elijah Lora: Forms a new craze NSYNC 2.0: a one man band
Darienne Maust: Joins a community of nuns and takes a vow of silence
Joel Miller: Escapes into the wilderness and becomes one with nature
Ryan Oostland: Starts his own tech company then slowly turns into a con artist
Christian Ramirez: Lives off free samples for the rest of his life
Alex Reinhardt: Becomes most honest man on earth in order to keep his nose from growing longer
Noah Richer: Travels across America entering in food, eating contests.
Lindsey Riddle: Sleeps through commencement and the rest of her life.
Isabel Rondo: Gives seminars nationally on proper note taking
Gianella Salas: Goes back to Peru after college and raises guinea pigs for a living
Nick Schrock: Becomes first doctor/lawyer in space.
Matthew Smucker: Grows a beard, moves to Paraguay and becomes the most Hispanic in the class
Kyle Snyder: Never leaves his parents basement after college
Alicia Thomas: Has a sudden growth spurt and reaches 6ft
Mason Tollar: Teaches 1st grade, but has a hard time relating to the kids.
Jane Wang: Youngest anime artist to win an oscar
~Gi Salas