That’s Life for the 2016/2017 School year has been wrapped up. Please keep your ear out for more quotes in the coming years and keep getting them submitted to Sightline! Have a wonderful summer and enjoy some laughs!
~Sightline Editors: Carissa Woolace and CJ Zmudzinski
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“You look like a pouty little chicken!” -Hannah Kaethler (‘18)
While talking about the seniors plans for the last day of Econ class, Jake Bedwell (‘17) exclaimed. “We should bring a grill. And a lawnmower. Let’s cut grass!”
“I have circles on my butt.” Jacob Saylor (‘18)
Josh Weaver told Sadie Kozlowski (‘18) to stop whining and sit down. “I’m an 83 year old woman, leave me alone,” Sadie protested as she headed to her seat.
“Nothing will stand between a lunch lady and her line of duty.” Calvin Swartzendruber
“Flirting is completely in the eyebrows,” Sarah Leininger (‘17) said after exchanging eyebrow waggles with Carissa Hostetler (‘17)
“The tree isn’t human.” Elizabeth Eby (‘18) states. “You’re not human!” Fiona Yeakey (‘19) argues. “I am too a human!” Elizabeth responds. “That’s exactly what a lizard in a human suit would say,” Fiona retorts. “Well, we’re taking over the world soon anyways,” Elizabeth finishes.
“Morals are for sissies!!” – Sarah Leininger (‘17) yelled down the hallway.
“I heard lots of birds yelling this morning!” – Fiona Yeakey (‘19)
“Did you see the sunset this morning?” – Hannah Kaethler (‘18)
When Hannah Kaethler (‘18) questioned why the WIT staff was sprawling on the floor, Carissa Hostetler (‘17) declared, “We’re a people carpet!”
“Don’t say “We dun good.” Why did we dun good?” -Brody Thomas
According to Carissa Hostetler (‘17), Lane Miller (‘17) will be majoring in “exorcise” science.
“I brushed my hair but it didn’t care.” -Joel Yoder (‘18) about his bed head
“We don’t have a term for cooked human.” – Abby Rudy-Froese (‘18)
“I’ve never known how to do anything in my entire life!” -Fiona Yeakey (‘19)
“Are there any more words in your vocabulary?” Brooke Weaver (‘17) asks Zane Zmudzinski (‘17). “You’re literally Groot. I am Groot. I am tired.”
Megan Duckworth (‘17), while working on the yearbook asked, “How much squished are those?”
Michael Yeakey asked Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) if he learned anything while researching to which Zane responded, “Well, I mean, just knowledge..”
When talking about debates, Michael Yeakey stated, “I wanna see blood and guts during these!”
“I’m a strong bean!” says Ari Beachey (‘17). They head out the door of the WIT room, turning at the last second to say “Not to be confused with string bean!”
“I can start a war anytime I want!” -Jonah Farran (‘19)
Dale Shenk stated, “I would rather ride my bike if you’re driving!”
While talking about college Hannah Yeakey (‘17) felt the need to assert, “We’re cool!”
Josh Weaver told 9th period to go out and do extreme sports, to which Jacob Gonsalves (‘17) responded, “Tennis!”
“Can you be a legal pimp in Nevada?” -Sofia Thomas (‘17)
“Give me all the fat!” -Carissa Hostetler (‘17) exclaimed loudly while eating her reduced fat Doritos
“Let her get back in a good mood. Then bring her down!” -Megan Duckworth (‘17)
Fiona Yeakey (‘19) exclaimed “I’m right in the middle of their flirting trajectory!”
“New Testament Jesus is more important than Old Testament Jesus!” -Sadie Kozlowski (‘18)
“There’s only the stickers and the stooken” -Michael Yeakey
“If it was going to be a geometrical meme, you would have to stand like a triangle… I don’t understand memes.” -Josh Weaver, period 1 Geometry.
“Playing the triangle isn’t rocket science,” Brody Thomas told the Concert Choir before demonstrating the instrument. He aimed incorrectly and completely missed the triangle.
Jiwoo Wi (‘17): Honey boo boo’s mom lost a ton of weight
Sofia Thomas (‘17): Maybe this could be inspirational for you.
Michael Yeakey: Are you comparing me to honey boo boo’s mom?
“She dishonored… my honor!” -Jacob Gonsalves (‘17)
“I’m the most mature person you know, Hannah Kaethler (‘18).” -Fiona Yeakey (‘19)
Josh Weaver told 9th period Econ, “P’s and Q’s… It’s a saying!” Jake Bedwell (‘17) responded asking, “What does P and Q stand for?” Sofia Thomas (‘17) immediately piped up and excitedly responded, “Parks and Quails!”
Michael Yeakey asked 2nd period English, “Can you use a smartphone as a dumb phone?” Jake Bedwell responded, “Well, you can use a smartphone to do dumb things.”
“God would shop at Hobby Lobby” -Josh Weaver
While eating lunch, Carissa Woolace (‘17) paused, looked up, and solemnly asked, “How do blind people know when their dogs die?”
“I was ready to be done with school in like, third grade” -Hannah Kaethler (‘18)
“Jake, dude, that’s dope! You’re such a moron!” -Josh Weaver when wondering about whether moron will ever become a slang compliment
Michael Yeakey told his 2nd period class, “I have not tried to play twerk! …at least in scrabble.”
During Physics, Calvin Swartzendruber asked his class, “What causes centripetal force?” Most of the class responded with gravity. Hannah Yeakey (‘17) piped up and confidently stated, “But there’s no gravity in space!”
While talking about pictures of the snow club for the yearbook, Sophie Miller (‘17) said, “I don’t know how we are going to be able to identify the snowclub people. They look like marshmallows on sticks.”
“I like a little hell, it makes things interesting.” -Sofia Thomas (‘17)
Michael Yeakey definitively stated, “I’m not going to buy a meme!”
“That’s the great thing about senior bible,” Dale tells his class. “Your final exam is when you’re 80.” “Are you going to grade it?” Jake Bedwell (‘17) asks. Dale responded, “No Jake, I’ll be dead.”
Dale Shenk tells the senior bible class, “The second grader drops his ice cream cone on the ground-” “And God smites him,” Jackson King (‘17) finishes.
“Helium: why most parties are busted.” -Josh Weaver
“They’re all high.” -Jake Bedwell (‘17)
Jiwoo Wi (‘17): Joel, your lower back distracts me.
Joel Yoder (‘18): I can’t help my curvaceous nature.
“I’m not a lazy sack of potatoes,” Joel Yoder (‘18) argues. “I’m a lazy sack of cotton candy… I’m soft and fluffy!”
“If Krispy Kreme sells donuts for $1 and Dunkin Donuts sells theirs for $3, who’s going to sell more,” Josh Weaver asks his seniors in Econ. “Well, America runs on Dunkin’s,” Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) reasons.
“That’s how I flirt. It’s all economics.” Josh Weaver tells 9th period Econ. “She thinks my factor’s sexy,” Jake Bedwell (‘17) chimes in.
“It’s okay Dale, we know you’re not an art teacher,” Carissa Woolace (‘17) tells Dale Shenk in senior bible while he draws on the board. “Well, I was the best artist in my school in fourth and fifth grade.” “That says a lot about your school,” Jackson King (‘17) responds.
“Jesus gives losers donuts.” -Dale Shenk
“I guess I should forgive them rather than firebomb their house.” – Dale Shenk
“Pence and Mrs. Obama teamed up to take away your dessert and salt.” -Josh Weaver
In Econ, Josh Weaver asked his class, “What is the relationship between Greek debt and Facebook?” Simon Hurst (‘17) replied, “Maybe all the Greeks invested in MySpace.”
“You played F flarp instead of F sharp.” -Stacey Farran
In Econ, Jake Bedwell’s shirt pulled up when he was removing his sweatshirt. Josh Weaver commented, “Thanks for that ab flash, Jake.” “Oh sorry,” Jake apologized before adding, “Well, it is your birthday.”
Jacob Gonsalves (‘17) exclaimed, “My head is lopsided!”
After listening to the definitions from the Econ class on deficits and debts, Josh asked his class for clarification. “If I heard correctly, a deficit is a 2007 Mexican feature film while a debt is owing someone money. Are we comfortable with these definitions?” The seniors nodded in agreement.
“You Bontrager girls sure do enjoy your buns.” -Joel Yoder (‘18) to Emma Bontrager (‘19)
Josh asked his class, “Should the people in that hospital be able to sue the government?” Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) responded, “Not if they’re dead.”
After Jan called the students going to the WIT and Social Media room during seventh period ‘Jessica’, Hannah Kaethler (‘18) said, “We’re all one collective Jessica. When one of us is missing, it’s like, ‘Oh, I guess Jessica is missing a leg today!’”
“Artists cause deaths. In fact, Jackson [King (‘17)] probably kills hundreds of people because he draws every day!” -Josh Weaver
“If someone made a pastry into a horcrux, would they have an unbreakable pastry?” -Fiona Yeakey (‘19)
“We should all just wear carbon masks. That’s what Bane did, right? Bane was secretly an environmentalist.” -Josh Weaver
“I am Bob the Builder.” -Gavin Rusel (‘18)
When talking about the seniors proposed businesses in Econ, Josh Weaver commented on Zane Zmudzinski’s (‘17) fishing lure business. “Zane’s Lure’s sounds vaguely sketchy. It’s at the bottom of the yellow pages next to Zane’s Unmarked Vans.”
“I was a talented little fetus.” – Sophie Miller (‘17)
In 9th period Econ, Josh Weaver asked his class, “What does Facebook cost?” Khalid Miller (‘17) responded, “Your relationship with your mother because you won’t friend her.”
While talking about murders in Chicago, Sarah Leininger (‘17) “Were they done by clowns?” Bec Thomas (‘18) responded, “Were they registered clowns? Because if not, then they’re not really clowns.”
“I need more time to procrastinate!” -Abby Rudy-Froese (‘18)
“McGovern. It’s when McDonald’s leads the country.” -Josh Weaver
“They ship them in for breeding season.” -Carissa Hostetler (‘17)
“When you’re sitting on a bean bag, you’re actually just sitting on the ground in a fashionable nest.” -Fiona Yeakey (‘19)
“Wyoming: Where everyone is a white, straight, male rancher.” -Josh Weaver in AP Government
“There are no women in Wyoming.” -Josh Weaver
“There’s one African American family and one Hispanic person in Wyoming.” -Josh Weaver
“The Senate is essentially Wyoming.” -Josh Weaver
“I will be your woman, Jonah [Hochstetler (’18)].” -Gavin Rusel (‘18)
In 9th period Business Math, Sofia Thomas (’17) told Josh Weaver to grab Simon Hurst’s (‘17) man bun. Josh responded, “Men don’t touch other men’s buns! You can quote me on that!”
Sofia Thomas (‘17) exclaimed, “Brooke shot me in the face today!” “With what?” asked Sarah Leininger (‘17). Sofia responded, With her mind!!”
“Just go yoogle it!” – Josh Weaver
Michael Yeakey told Philip Krabill (‘19) “You know if I had a talk show, you would never be on it!
Joe Liu (‘17) asked whether to use “cómo está” or “cómo estás.” Jonathan Yousey (‘18) answers “Cómo estás is “How are you?”, and cómo está is like “How art thou?””
Megan Duckworth (‘17) told Sophie Miller (’17), “I found this awesome sketchy font!” Sophie asked her, “What, did it grow up in a dark alley?”
Carissa Hostetler (‘17) while standing in front of a fan said, “Can you not?? I’m trying to be not stressed!”
“I was suffering with some really acute back pain. I was a triangle.” -Leah Beachey (‘17)
“I will go on record and say I’ve never eaten an oompa loompa and I never will.” -Josh Weaver
While looking on a child sponsorship website, Evan Erlacher (’18) exclaimed, “Zane! I’m buying kids! They’re only $39!” Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) responded “There must have been some kind of inflation, because they used to be a lot cheaper back in the day.”
“Hamsters are invisible. It’s a theory of mine.” -Carissa Mast (‘19)
“It’s okay to flirt in my class. Look around, find a partner, flirt a little bit.” -Michael Yeakey
Natan Nafzinger (‘17) pulls out an old school ID in the middle of Calculus. “Is that from sixth grade?” Hannah Yeakey (‘17) asks him after looking at it. “No, it was from last year,” Natan responds.
Josh Weaver told his Econ class what will happen to his daughter, Caroline, if he doesn’t find a new babysitter: “My child will be out on the streets begging for nickels and raisins!”
Jiwoo Wi (‘17): “Karma is a terrible idea.”
Hannah Yeakey (‘17): “Caramel? I love caramel!”
“Disney isn’t that good anymore. Well, Disney Channel, I mean. I’m sorry Simon, but you needed to hear this.” -Sofia Thomas (‘17) to Simon Hurst (‘17)
“I love the aesthetic of Brody’s pants!” -Madison Swartzendruber (‘18)
Brent Reinhardt, trying to see who was still on Google Sheets, scrolled over a highlighted box saying, “I see you on here! I should be able to see who you are.. Who are you? Oh wait… that’s my box.”
Barney farts! – Calvin Swartzendruber
“I’m just gonna bend time a little here.” -Dustin Miller (‘18)
“But why does Amazon call it ‘Alexa.’” Conrad Yoder (‘18) asked. “Because Alexa’s are smart and cool.” Alexa Haarer (‘18) responded. “I think you might be slightly biased.” Joel Yoder (‘18) comments.
“Dorothy first meets the scarecrow, who doesn’t have a brain. Who is that?” Brent Reinhardt asked period 7 U.S. History. Ivan Ramos (‘18) replied, “Donald Trump.”
“I can’t handle the stress of Legally Blonde 2.” -Sadie Kozlowski (‘18)
“Stress makes me sweaty!” -Leah Beachey (‘17)
During 3rd period Church History, Jacob Saylor clarifies, “Jesus is not a donut.”
“I have high standards on whose hair I’ll call fabulous.” -Josh Weaver
Kevin Miller walked up to the WIT door and Sophie Miller (‘17) exclaimed, “Hi Mom!” Kevin responded, “It’s just not my day, today at the doctor’s office they asked me if I was pregnant.”
“This scantron is so gross! The bubbles are all fat and nasty!” Conrad Yoder (‘18) exclaimed in 2nd period English. “You’re fat shaming scantrons!” Hannah Yeakey (‘17) responded.
Jake Bedwell (‘17) told Josh Weaver, “There are many Chips in one Ahoy!”
Sarah Leininger (‘17) indignantly asked Josh Weaver, “Am I wearing one pant?!”
“Just go out and blast a fish right in it’s wet, fishy face!” – Josh Weaver
“I’m afraid you’re trying to force boot culture on me.” – Josh Weaver
Jake Bedwell (‘17) asks Josh Weaver “Why don’t you get a new phone? Yours is from like, 1912.” Josh fakes a look of shock and asks, “How did you know?” “Wait, is it bulletproof?” Jacob Gonsalves (‘17) adds.
“The pilgrims did it and, gosh darn it, we can do it too!” -Sofia Thomas (‘17) about sitting outside.
Sophie Miller (‘17) made the observation: “If everyone saves one piece of paper we would save 7 billion pieces of paper which equals 7 trees, which produces 77 lbs of oxygen which could save 5 children’s lives. Which means that everyone is responsible for 1/55 millionth of a kids life.”
“My kids have those little skateboards and I secretly tried to use one in the garage the other day. I almost broke a hip.” -Michael Yeakey
Megan Duckworth (‘17) asked Leah Beachey (‘17), “Were you dead when you sat in this chair? ‘Cause it is very cold.”
“It’s not sexim, it’s science!” -Josh Weaver Period 3 Algebra II
“Jake [Bedwell (‘17)] apparently lives in clothing optional land.” -Michael Yeakey
“I’m an engineer!” Carissa Hostetler (‘17) exclaims happily. “What did you do?” Leah Beachey (‘17) asks. “I fixed this pen!” Carissa responds proudly, brandishing said pen.
When the Business Math class was listening to Gregorian chants performed by women, Jake Bedwell (‘17) commented “There’s some lady Gregors in here.”
Tarynn Clark (‘18): “I just don’t like the grittiness of lemondrops.”
Michael Yeakey: “Well do you want me to pre-lick them for you?”
“I can be a democrat and still like grammar!” -Evan Erlacher (‘18)
Michael Yeakey: I don’t like to judge people. For example I can’t see Conrad’s heart. Is he innocent or guilty?
2nd Period Class: Guilty!
Conrad Yoder (‘18): …Thanks guys…
Michael Yeakey told 2nd period English, “You probably don’t know much about 18th century French Literature. Except maybe Gavin. He has those smart glasses.” Gavin Rusel (‘18) replied, “It was in French.”
In Business Math, Josh asked his class, “Who would actually want a Corvette in a post-apocalyptic world?” Erick Ortiz (‘17) raised his hand. “Alright, so Erick.” Josh continued. “He’ll drive it really fast into zombies.” Erick nodded in confirmation.
“Just because you caught a sheep doesn’t mean you’re all that.” – Megan Duckworth (‘17)
Michael Yeakey asked his class, “If we don’t teach the children, who will take over when you are old, grey, and a hologram?”
“Imagine you’re making french fries in the oven. You take them out too soon so they’re soggy and you’re like “Huh.” That’s how you guys are to me.” -Brody Thomas to Concert Choir
“That’s not me trusting you, that’s me trusting the freaking laws of physics!” -Daniel Robles (‘17)
“This table is the property of the collective!” -Fiona Yeakey (‘19)
In AP Government Josh Weaver said, “He sent bombs through the mail.” Sofia Thomas (‘17) responded asking, “Was it just for funsies or…?”
Anna Barnard offered some of her frappuccino from the Brew and Jim rejected it saying, “No. Too much foo-foo.”
“Look, boys and girls! There’s a paper airplane! Let’s set it on fire!” -Calvin Swartzendruber
After Josh Weaver “Rick Rolled” his students during an inclass assignment, Leah Beachey (‘17) commented, “I have never felt so betrayed in my life!”
Benji Hurst stated, “Fiona (’19) would be that one kid at a punk club who was almost a punk but not quite there.”
In 4th period English, Michael Yeakey told his class that facial tattoos are bad for visual rhetoric. Jiwoo Wi commented “Ow, those would hurt!” “It would hurt you more to look in the mirror,” Brooke Reinhardt responded.
“[Social Media] is mostly just me harassing senators.” – Josh Weaver
Brent Reinhardt tells his Government class, “I have seven guns on me right now.” “I can see two!” Jake Bedwell (‘17) exclaims, flexing his arms.
In Econ, Josh Weaver asked his class, “Are you allowed to make out in public restrooms? I’ve never tried.”
Josh Weaver asked his 9th period Business Math Class if they knew what money laundry was. Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) jokingly responded, “Money that you put in the washer and then the dryer.”
“Yousey, push my buttons.” -Conrad Yoder (‘18) to Jonathan Yousey (‘18)
During 9th period study hall Madison Swartzendruber (‘18) was complaining to Brooke Reinhardt (‘18) saying “Ugh, I have to revise my draft tonight.” Izzy Mujica (‘18) popped up from behind the couch they were sitting on and asked, “You’re revising your fantasy football draft tonight?” Madison meant her English essay draft.
“Bob Ross would not use photoshop.” -Michael Yeakey
At the guys soccer senior night Anna Barnard (‘17) cheered saying, “Let’s go number green!” while cheering for the referee wearing a green shirt.
Abby Rudy-Froese (‘18) stated, “There are a lot of Canadians in Canada.”
In 1st period Geometry, Jacob Gonsalves (‘17) asked Josh to check if his work was correct. Josh responded, “You’re in the right neighborhood,” before Anna Barnard (‘17), who had been listening to the exchange, added “but in the wrong town.” Josh said he might start using Anna’s addition and promised to cite her when she reminded him to give her credit.
Josh Weaver held up his LG Cosmos and stated, “This and the financial recession have shaped my life.”
Sofia Thomas (‘17) stated “Coffee is more of a spiritual experience for me.”
Brody Thomas told the altos in Concert Choir, “Alright, I want you to go without shaving your legs for a month so you can feel and sing more manly.”
It was in quarters from my laundromat, not crack quarters. -Josh Weaver
“Crank that sucker!” Stacy Farran exclaimed loudly to Evan Brown (‘19) during Orchestra
Sophie Miller (‘17) asked Gavin Rusle (‘18), “Do you just not like fitnessing?”
Brody Thomas said, “ Solfege is like musical broccoli, at first you hate it, but then you grow to love it.”
Sofia Thomas (‘17) exclaimed, “But being a good driver isn’t fun!”
Sadie Kozlowski (‘18) states, “I have always wanted to drink water like a normal person. At least once.”
In third period study hall, Leah Beachey (‘17) commented jokingly about Sophie Miller’s (‘17) sleeveless dress, saying, “Wow, your shoulders are making me feel things that I just don’t understand.” Megan Duckworth (‘17) replied “Put on some sunglasses then.”
In 5th period concert choir, Brody Thomas told his class, “Choir directors normally use their hands to conduct because hands can convey emotion. The only emotion a baton shows is ‘stick.’”
Michael Yeakey told his 2nd period English class, “The graves of famous individuals were often disturbed by people. Abraham Lincoln would be an example, because he was highly venerated. “ “Or Jesus,” Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) added.
“If you’re going to eat bosco sticks, practice bosco safety, cut them into bites.” – Josh Weaver
During Fitness at Fidler, Sadie Kozlowski (‘18) ran at the geese by the path yelling, “Take me home!”
Sofia Thomas (‘17) stated, “ Logical fallacies can be true. The sky is blue, the ground is hard, Gavin is ugly.”
Jake Bedwell (‘17) told CJ Zmudzinski (‘17), “I like your eye, but I would have made it red. Like the devil.”
When talking about infinities in 4th period Algebra II, Josh Weaver asked the class, “Why does Buzz Lightyear say “To Infinity and Beyond?” Gavin Rusel (‘18) responded “He doesn’t have a brain, he’s a toy.” Conrad Yoder (‘18) quickly added, “YOU ARE A TOY!”
Fiona Yeakey (‘19) stated, “I’m older than you! Wait, how old are you.”
In U.S. Government, Brent Reinhardt asked Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) if he was wearing colored contacts. Zane responded, “No, my eyes are just pretty.”
“I care about my teeth too much [to do drugs]!” -Emma Bontrager (‘19)
A finance problem composed by Josh Weaver and Zane Zmudzinski (‘17) in 9th Period Business Math attributed Bod’s yearly income to earnings from Driver’s Ed Instruction, Amish Chauffeuring, Candy Crush Counseling (CCC), and Gambling.
“Thank you for laughing at me when I do something funny. It makes me feel better about myself. I’m not being sarcastic.” – Brody Thomas
Drug dealers are like lawnmowers. – Josh Weaver
CJ Zmudzinski (‘17) thought hiccups were caused by irregular heartbeats.
“You want easy money? Make meth.” – Michael Yeakey to his 2nd period English class
During 5th period choir, Brody Thomas told the basses and tenors, “Too much like lasagna. Be more kale.”
During Business Math Josh Weaver says, “Jim is like old man money bags. I’m like young man empty pockets.”
In study hall, Jonathan Yousey (‘18) was talking about playing baseball with a league at Northwestern University. Jiwoo Wi (‘17) asked him, “Northwestern University? Isn’t that hard to get into?” Jonathan’s response was, “Yeah, there’s not a lot of parking.”
“Okay everyone, time to settle down,” Jan Stair tells her seventh period study hall in a calming tone. “Jan, you have a lovely voice,” Jake Bedwell (‘17) tells her after everyone has quieted down. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” Jan responds.
Working on a Business Math project in the hall, Jacob Gonsalves (‘17) states, “I have no butt, nothing is comfortable,” then goes on to add, “Indian’s have no butts.”
When talking about streamlining the fish fry in 9th period Business Math, Jacob Gonsalves (‘17) says “We should have a VIP section. Clothing Optional.” Josh Weaver responds, “I think that would definitely violate health code.”