Skim’s growing threat to society

Skim milk consumption is becoming increasingly common and regular milk is under siege. The easy part is acknowledging that skim milk is subpar in comparison to nearly all other kinds of milk. Once that is clarified and out of the way, more important issues can be discussed such as deciding how to best deal with those who drink the vile substance. This question will not be directly addressed in this article as this document serves to caution the reader of the many dangers of skim milk drinking. That being said, don’t fall short of publicly shaming anyone you see who is drinking skim milk. 

 *NOTICE* 

Sightline Media is legally obligated to state that it does not endorse, condone, or take responsibility for anti-skim violence or any such related incidents. The Holy Milk Trials have not been concluded and therefore milk-related religious persecution is not tolerated or encouraged by the presentation of this document. 

Skim milk drinking is a taint on our proud American heritage and is clearly a moral contradiction. Skim milk is a sign of weakness, the user being unable to handle the raw and powerful image of our beloved freedom fighter cows. The cow’s image must not be tarnished, it must remain an icon of patriotism and strength. Skim milk will not help you grow up to be big and strong but will weaken your bones and your American spirit.

The question that has been pondered for decades among milk connoisseurs like myself is as follows: how does one live with themselves after consuming such a watery and flavorless liquid? After removing so much of the healthy fat is it even nutritious anymore? In my experience, after drinking skim milk I quickly become unsettled and nauseous. Strong evidence shows that drinking skim milk leads to the slow dulling of one’s taste buds and a resulting lack of good judgement in appreciating other types of milk. When one’s loyalty lies with skim, their moral backbone begins to erode and the fair judgment of other milks is corrupted.

For these reasons and many others, skim milk drinking is considered by the Sightline team to be a dangerous deed, a misdemeanor, and just a quite silly thing to do. Don’t purge your morality by drinking skim, express your true strong American heritage and integritous self by drinking virtually any other type of milk

Corporal Custard, 3rd div. CT cell India (SAG)

3/16/21